An Atypical Day

Boundaries. The ocean seems boundless, yet it also has certain boundaries. Do we, as humans, have similar boundaries, or are we truly free?

Boundaries. The ocean seems boundless, yet it also has certain boundaries. Do we, as humans, have similar boundaries, or are we truly free?

What started as a typical day, ends as a typical day, or does it? Nothing special done, no special accomplishments to list down. Just a routine day, regular in all its regularities, and twisted in all its glory into its own set of hyper-reality. Here I am, standing on my roof, feeling the breeze against my face and the warmth that protrudes my fate. On the outset of my very perception, I stand and all but fathom my own existence, my own principles, and my own realities, and try to compare this unintelligible conundrum with what I deem as an unthinkable desire; a desire for inner peace, an inner sanctum where I am freed of my own boundaries.

What a strange word it is, boundary. Looking at it from a philosophical perspective, does it actually bear any existence? I think not, but I dare not conclude that tis really the case. You never know as uncertainty knows no bounds! I came across a rather peculiar situation today when I was sitting in class with a few friends, and one of them asked me for advice on her career path and her future steps. I don’t perceive myself as the all-knowing seer or some evangelist that has all the answers. Then why does everyone come to me with their queries? Tis a conundrum!

My inner sanctum, once was, now obliterated, by my own actions and inactions, and now undergoing gradual reconstruction. A place where I could retreat to, where I could run away from it all and just levitate away from all my problems and hassles. A place where I was free of all my headaches and heartaches, and everything that bothers me at any given time. My inner sanctum…

I stopped writing some time back as my battery had died, and lost my chain of thought. While I’m sitting here, typing this and enjoying my McFlurry, I’m wondering one tiny little thing. Despite all my shortcomings and less than perfect, perceptions about my self, why do people look at me and see someone they can turn to for advice, for consolation, for guidance on their lives! And at the same time, why do I see so many people that want me to be a part of their lives, their reality; yet none who want to be a part of my life and my reality. As dysfunctional and chaotic as it may seem, it really is pretty well organized. Ordered chaos, ordered anarchy that is as normal as it comes; a simple derogatory situation for a state of being, and a being of a globally derogatory state. Alas, does my writing actually have a direction?

Is something yelling, “read between the lines”? I say, you should be hearing a lot of voices in your head by now. That is what I deem normal in such circumstances. Where superficial and artificial lives are prevalent; where people use their influence to show others what their skills are and what they claim they can do. Can they prove it in a scenario where they cant use their influence to get their way? I doubt it, but it won’t stop them from trying. Still wondering how I jumped from four different subjects in four paragraphs without an evident link? You really should, as that is exactly how I would react…

The link between these four odd paragraphs is, quite simply, the urge for simplicity of life, character, and the amalgamation of values, norms, beliefs, and principles with tolerance. The link between these past words is the wish to live a life where people are honest and sincere with themselves for a change, where people rise above these petty activities and look beyond that. A state where they actually realize and come to terms with who they are and where they belong. That’s the easiest way to solve all our problems, materialistic or otherwise, and to gain inner peace, to put together an inner sanctum that really would encompass this ‘nation’. Sure, life has its share of uncertainties, but most of them are generated by our own perceptions. Does the phrase, “Self Fulfilling Prophecy” ring a bell?

Over the past few months, I’ve taken the leap of faith at several different times, and each time, I felt lighter, but at the same time, more burdened with other things. Things just as superficial as the lives most of us are leading, but at the same time, things that have more substance than us people ourselves!

Abashed by this sorry state of affairs, I question our existence, not as a nation or as the follower of a religion, but as simple human beings. Are we actually superior than the other beings existing and subsisting on this planet? Isn’t that all that we are doing? Merely existing, and cultivating ourselves; multiplying like a virus? Eating away at the core of humanity and the very religions that we hold so dear, that we follow like religionists?

Everywhere I look, I see the same disarray, the same pathetic excuse of a life, the same non-chalant banter and disregard of humanity and life as it exists. A lame existence, and a lame, sorry excuse of a life! I don’t remember which one exactly, but I heard a simple little line in a movie quite some time back. It went something like, ‘Everyone with power, authority and the ability to benefit others has the responsibility to do so.’ I know that asking everyone to benefit the rest of the world would be a very tall order, so I just ask for a few tiny things from my readers, be compassionate and tolerant towards everyone, be honest and sincere with yourself. If nothing else, mend your ways, your shortcomings, just to solve your own problems and overcome your own hurdles. If we all just look at ourselves, and start considering the broader picture, this country would once again become the nation it once was. If only we were honest with ourselves…

Enough said.

Kashif





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