I sit here today, wondering, what I could have been, where I could have stood, and where I am now. I wonder how my life could have turned out had I not made some of the decisions that I made or let others make for me. I wonder how things would have been if I had been brought up in a different manner, if I had a different educational background, if I had been someone else.
Looking at how I am right now, I’m simply amazed at everything that has happened in my life, and that continues to happen. Not being in control of most aspects of my life, I’ve seen my life become as messy as possible, specially when someone else made my decisions for me.
There was a time when I started making certain decisions for myself. When every aspect of my life had been going in the wrong direction, that one step I took hit me like a shockwave and everything started improving. As long as I was following up that step with another and another, life was bliss. That step was my first leap of faith into my professional career.
Surprisingly, just that one thing, my job pushed me so far ahead in every other facet of my life. That one little step turned out to be the best decision of my life and it showed. From the role of a quiet, shy student, I jumped onto the corporate bandwagon and would have turned out really well, had I not listened to other people. What surprises me the most is that every other area of my life improved just because I had started working. I was living my dream.
Sadly, as is said, all good things must come to an end, so too did that phase of my life. My life nosedived, solely because I had started letting others make my decisions for me, yet again. Has anyone ever noticed how hard it is to get back up once you fall out of the sky after soaring for so long, and so high? I did when I experienced it.
Today, I stand at the precipice of an emotional and professional crevasse. I stand here, first looking down into the crevasse, and then up at the sky. Will I soar, or will I plummet to the depths of this fissure called life? I don’t really know what result this step will yield, but I feel compelled to take this leap of faith. For multitudes of reasons, I want to fly off of this ledge and see if I can fly again, or whether I’ll come crashing down.
Should I take this leap of faith?